Laura Wood at
The Thinking Housewife has a post on a KFC customer who was rewarded with special freebies by his local KFC manager for being so consistently courteous to the staff.
He
writes:
I am of course very grateful for the lady’s kind gesture – but it occurs to me that basic civility should just be the default setting. It should surely always be expected in interpersonal dealings. Surely western society has reached its nadir when what used to be called “common courtesy” is now not only uncommon but is so rare that it’s being rewarded with gifts. How and why did this situation come about?
I am lucky that it comes naturally to me to say "please" and "thank you" to the staff at any shop franchise, or organization (by phone or in person).
Perhaps it helps that I write in a blog titled
Reclaiming Beauty. Or perhaps it helps that I try to leave the house dressed as attractively and respectively as possible, not to attract attention, but to feel that I look like a worthy (female) human being, which in turn helps to make me feel like a worthy human being, which then makes me realize that we are all in this together.
I absolutely don't do this to manipulate people. But perhaps that is what some people think. Or when I go to a store and ask politely and courteously to see an item, dressed as I am, they may think they have got themselves a customer, especially if it is an expensive jewelry or perfume store (my two favorite places!).
That is why outright rudeness always throws me off, although now less so than before.
As in today.
I went by the
Michael Hill Jewelers in the Square One Mall (in the "luxury wing") and saw a big sign which said: "Try On the Royal Engagement Ring!"
Why not? I thought. I am no fan of the royals, especially this calculating Meghan Markle. But like Christmas chocolates and halloween costumes, sometimes it is fun just to join in for a minute.
One of the saleswomen was busy catering to turbaned Sikh. She looked Indian, and she spoke in fluent "Canadian" English. But she would occasionally drop in some foreign word (Hindi? Punjabi?) which was clearly part of her method, and a pleasant one, to win over these customers.
This was going on forever, so I asked her with a "Sorry but can I interrupt? Could you tell me where Meghan's ring is?"
She pointed "around at the other side."
I went around to the other side, but there was no sign pointing me to the ring.
I spoke softly: "Sorry can you just show me?"
"I've got customers right now" she sad abruptly and, in my opinion, rudely. I nodded my head, showed my dissatisfaction with pursed lips, and went to the other saleswoman who was dealing with a man looking at a collection of gold chains.
I didn't think he was going to buy anything. He wasn't making decisive inspections, other than to look at how the chains looked next to his neck.
This time, I waited for my turn, although I couldn't help a "they look good" comment at this uninterested buyer (or maybe he just didn't have the cash).
He left and the shoplady turned around to put the chains back, as she asked kindly: "How can I help you?"
"It is not usual to see a man take so much time over jewelry," I commented.
"Actually what I wanted was to see the Meghan's ring."
She then went into the cabinet and took out what the ring that was "supposed to look like it."
"Oh so it is not the actual ring."
"Well it is the same three-stone diamond ring on gold."
"It looks so small! Do you think this is the size that he really gave her? I'm sure he spent more than these $800!"
Then she got irritated.
"Well all we have is a model."
Clearly I was never going to buy this $800 ring. Maybe I looked like I would buy another ring of say $150, given my "appearance." But I only stopped by (and waited those additional minutes) because the store was doing some kind of Meghan Markle Diamond display. Looking at a princess ring doesn't mean I'm going to buy it, or any other.
I picked up the precious bounty, turned it over (but never put it on my finger), smiled a little, grimaced some, then just put it back in the dark satin box, and walked out of the store.
If she wanted a princess, well she was getting her now!
Both these saleswoman had an unsuccessful day: The Sikh men walked out without making a purchase (there they go, and they didn't even buy anything" I said laughing, while I was still talking to the Meghan ring expert." And the man infatuated with the gold chains didn't even say he would be back (perhaps when cash ready).
And of course they lost me. There are hundreds of diamond stores. And people persist until they find the right place before taking out their wallets for toilet paper, let alone diamond stones!
I never bother shopkeepers for these "luxury" views when they are busy or during rush hour. What does she have to lose by being courteous, or even nice, to me? And who knows what will happen next year, or even next month? I plan to win the lottery, but I wouldn't grace her store to buy my diamond set, and add to her coveted commission salary.
I know it is best to be courteous even in the face of a rudeness and callousness. But then we have to fight back, and force manners on these plebeians. It might take them out of their rut! And the next modest customer, who may have a simple request, might get better treatment.
That is what courtesy is about. But in Mississauga, where people don't even speak the same common language, the language of common courtesy is non-existent.
This is how civilizations whittle away, when civility has been tossed aside.
Note:
The Meghan Ring, which the saleswoman showed me was nothing like the real ring which had a huge central diamond ring with tiny ones to each side. The one I saw (and grimace at) had three all the same size. Maybe this woman's behavior was because she didn't know what ring to show me. And this is perhaps even worse than her rudeness!
And Meghan's Diamond Ring is "
priceless."
